Why your mental health and relationship matter when you are pregnant
When preparing for pregnancy and the arrival of a new baby, much of the focus is often placed on the body: prenatal pills, doctor appointments, blood work, a balanced diet, and a growing belly. But there is another side of pregnancy that matters just as much: your relationship and your mental health. The perinatal period, which encompasses pregnancy and the first year postpartum, is a time of significant hormonal, physical, emotional, and lifestyle changes that can affect psychological health.
Prioritizing your mental wellness and your relationship during this transition can positively impact not only you as a parent but also the developing child and the relational dynamics. This article is about how to keep your whole system as a focal point: your body, your mind, and your relationships.
Preparing for Pregnancy
Are my hormones okay? How can I decrease my stress levels? When am I ovulating? These are common thoughts you or your partner may have during the prep for pregnancy. The one area couples often overlook is the mental health support before conception. Engaging in therapy during the preconception period provides an opportunity to identify concerns, strengthen coping strategies, and prepare for the emotional adjustments associated with pregnancy and parenthood.
Potential benefits of pre-pregnancy therapy include:
- Addressing existing mental health concerns: Individuals with a history of anxiety, depression, trauma, or other mental health conditions can develop a proactive plan for symptom management and support.
- Reducing stress and uncertainty: Therapy can help individuals and couples process concerns related to fertility, finances, career changes, and family planning.
- Strengthening relationships: Couples may benefit from improving communication skills, enhancing emotional intimacy, and aligning expectations regarding parenting roles and responsibilities. You can also stop negative cycles and improve your connection.
- Building resilience: Developing emotional regulation and stress-management skills before pregnancy can improve confidence and adaptability during future challenges.
A Rollercoaster of Feelings
The rollercoaster of emotions is real. It’s normal to feel a lot of different things during pregnancy, sometimes all in the same day. You might feel:
- Worried about the baby’s growth and health
- Excited about meeting your baby
- Scared about labor, money, or becoming a parent
- Unsure if you’re “doing it right”
- Overwhelmed by how much is changing
- Anxious about symptoms (so you research way too much)
- Fearful that something is wrong (all the time)
- Connected when you feel the baby move
None of these feelings mean something is wrong with you. These are common. Pregnancy stirs up a lot of fears and unknowns, while you are flooded with hormones. If you’ve gone through infertility, a high-risk pregnancy, or a past pregnancy loss, these feelings can be even stronger. Talking to a therapist, like Abby Rosales, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate, during pregnancy gives you a safe place to work through all of it, without judgment.
Our therapist, Abby Rosales, understands the whole spectrum of emotions and the road that couples go through. She knows it both personally and professionally.
Navigating the Emotional Experience of Pregnancy
Although the physical aspects of pregnancy are often most visible (the growing belly, the exhaustion, the hunger cravings), learning to emotionally regulate during this time can be equally significant. The emotional range includes excitement, anticipation, uncertainty, fear, and vulnerability. These emotions can feel intense (then toss in some hormones to help fuel the fire) and require skill to navigate the emotions and communicate effectively with your partner and friends.
Our therapist, Abby Rosales, offers couples therapy and individual counseling to support those during pregnancy. She offers a supportive environment to explore concerns related to labor and delivery, body image changes, relationship dynamics, and the transition to parenthood. Her counseling services can also provide meaningful support for individuals experiencing high-risk pregnancies, infertility-related stress, or a history of pregnancy loss, allowing them to process complex emotions in a safe and nonjudgmental setting.
Pregnancy Changes Your Relationship, Too
Not only does Pregnancy change you, but it also changes the relationship between you and your partner. It is common for the relationship to change; some great changes and some not-so-great changes too.
Your connection gets stronger. Your relationship might have this exciting and connected bond. The experience of “we made a baby” gives such a high, and you both bond over being excited to watch it grow.
You don’t feel the same connection as you used to. Things change. Your focus changes. The many doctor appointments. The connection and intimacy get lost.
You might disagree about parenting before the baby even arrives. Tension might already pop up about how you both want to parent or bringing in religion. Your fights begin to increase when you talk about the “what ifs.”
One partner may feel left out. If one person is pregnant and the other isn’t, the partner who isn’t pregnant can sometimes feel unsure how to help or feel disconnected from the experience. They might experience feeling left out and forgotten about when the pregnant partner is focused on baby.
Old patterns can resurface. The negative patterns of communication can resurface with money worries, family pressure, or unresolved arguments. These issues can often get louder during big life transitions.
None of this means your relationship is in trouble. It means you’re going through something big, and big things put pressure on relationships. That’s normal. And our therapist, Abby Rosales, is trained on how to meet our clients where they are, understand the life transitions, and help couples stay connected through it.
The Transition to Parenthood
The postpartum period is often one of the most demanding life transitions and most vulnerable for women. Physical recovery, hormones, sleep deprivation, changing family dynamics, and the responsibilities of caring for a newborn can contribute to emotional distress and mental health concerns.
At Spokane Counseling Hub, we offer counseling services as a resource for couples during this period by helping parents:
- Manage postpartum mood and anxiety disorders: Evidence-based therapeutic interventions can effectively address symptoms of postpartum depression, anxiety, and related conditions.
- Navigate identity changes: Many new parents experience shifts in their sense of self, relationships, career goals, and daily routines. Professional support can facilitate adjustment to these changes while fostering self-compassion and confidence.
- Strengthen parent-infant bonding: Therapy can help parents address emotional barriers to connection and promote healthy attachment with their infant.
- Prevent caregiver burnout: Encouraging realistic expectations, self-care practices, and healthy boundaries can help parents maintain their well-being while meeting the demands of caregiving.
Signs When Counseling May Be Needed
Seeking mental health counseling is a proactive and important step. It is a good idea to start individual or couples counseling if you experience:
- Ongoing feelings of sadness or low mood
- Constantly worrying (and it doesn’t go away)
- Difficulty bonding with your baby or partner
- Feelings of hopelessness or helplessness (very critical to seek therapy)
- Significant irritability or emotional overwhelm
- Unable to find joy or happiness.
- Increased conflict with your partner
It is important to get counseling early on to help prevent symptoms from worsening.
If you and your partner are struggling in your relationship, Abby Rosales at Spokane Counseling Hub works with couples navigating exactly these challenges. She focuses on helping couples improve connection, communicate effectively, and support each other through pregnancy and new parenthood. She genuinely loves working with her clients and creating a space where both partners feel heard and supported. Give us a call or book an appointment with Abby today.
