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Meet Therapist Emily deTar 

Hi! I'm Emily deTar Gilmartin and I am here to help you get to the root of the issues quickly and make change long-term. My counseling is here to for in-person or virtual sessions

Fee: $100 per 50-minute session
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Emily deTar Gilmartin, LMHC-A: Navigating Trauma, Restoring Trust, and Rebuilding Connections

Struggle is such a part of being human. I see my clients as needing to be supported and guided as they navigate what their struggles mean to them, while being championed by someone who can collaboratively structure a path to healing, growth, confident decision making, and restored relationships. I believe that no struggle can be truly healed without self-knowledge, the feeling that choice and positive change is possible, and receiving the support of true empathy. In his Polyvagal Theory, Stephen Porges expressed that “We enter the world wired to connect and embark on a lifelong quest to feel safe in our bodies, in our environment, and in our relationship with others.” This defines my identity as a counselor–to both create that safety for the client, to guide them as they seek more of it in their lives, and live in that safety myself to be able to better serve my role.

Meet the Therapist

Emily deTar Gilmartin

Spokane Therapist Emily deTar
My name is Emily deTar Gilmartin and I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor Associate, having graduated from Gonzaga with a Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. I have experience working with adolescent and adult individuals and couples, with goals ranging from lessening social anxiety, to processing early childhood trauma that has continued to impact their relationships and careers long into adulthood, to finding new ways to interact with their partner that doesn’t involve fighting or feelings of abandonment and contempt.

My client experience ranges from age 12 to 65 and every human struggle you could imagine: routine building, sleep hygiene, communication, anxiety, depression, career changes, cult recovery, religious trauma, thoughts of self-harm, and wounded or broken relationships with family, spouses, partners, lovers, friends, children, faith groups, cultures, and self. The overarching theme of my clients’ work was understanding the physical and emotional symptoms of past traumas assaulting their everyday lives and leading to the breakdown of relationships.

Before coming to Spokane to embark on a counseling education and career, I spent fifteen years in five different countries working with and volunteering with war refugees, victims of sexual violence and abuse, incarcerated and houseless populations, young children in the foster system, and individuals of all ages struggling with thoughts of self-harm and helplessness about their current life situation and relationships. At the core of all of these experiences, I saw a longing in people from every walk of life that was so evident: the desire to be able to trust and to connect.
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My counseling style

I work primarily from an attachment and trauma-informed lens, primarily implementing Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) model, and drawing on my knowledge base of Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Narrative Exposure Therapy (NET) where appropriate.

I aim to support individuals and couples dealing with conflict; to help remove the burden of shame from individuals whose personal traumas have interrupted their ability to enjoy intimacy and deep, lasting attachments with others; and to help individuals and couples struggling with sudden change or identity crises to feel like they have control over the new and real them that is emerging.

I am committed to bearing witness to every client’s authentic feelings, to act as a force that gives each client permission to be there as whoever they really are, to nurture a climate that makes it possible to speak out loud the things that they are afraid to want or that they know they need to change. From a place of respect and non-judgment I hope to see each client come to a place where they are no longer in need of me.