Creating a Safe Space for Communication and Growth

At Spokane Counseling Hub, we use Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to help couples form stronger bonds.

With this societal stigma and external pressure in mind, we create a safe space where gay couples can communicate openly.

The assigned therapist asks questions to encourage vulnerability and honesty. They are there to call out any negative behavior contributing to the problem and tailor strategies for the couple to build resilience and mutual understanding in the relationship.

For example, a nonbinary couple goes to a therapist for support. Their arguments about a mother-in-law are becoming worse. The nonbinary partner feels like their significant other is not taking their claims seriously about their MILโ€™s microaggressions. The other partner disagrees with them, causing frustration for both parties.

Their therapist can help them identify negative interaction patterns that trigger disagreements between them and what are the underlying emotions under them. The therapist may help the other partner see their disorganized attachment to their mother that causes them to enable their parent and the nonbinary partner to realize their ambivalent attachment to their family, causing them to โ€œyell to be heard.โ€œ By collaborating with the couple, the therapist can help them find constructive communication methods.

EFT not only identifies negative interaction patterns but also restructures communications to be responsive and vulnerable. From there, the couple can practice new skills in interacting with each other.

Using our past example of the nonbinary couple, the therapist introduces new ways to communicate healthily. The nonbinary partner is taught to identify symptoms in their body when frustrated and how to regulate that frustration. Their partner is taught ways to establish boundaries with their mother.

Goal-oriented therapy is vital for the health of relationships. Personalized goals can include improving communication or rebuilding trust. The therapist may give their clients โ€œhomeworkโ€ or skills they need to practice in their daily lives. In the next session, the therapist will ask about their feedback on which the strategies can be improved.

Back to our nonbinary couple example, their goals can be to rebuild trust after the nonbinary partner feels unheard before and to strengthen their bond to prevent similar issues later on.

Here are the benefits of queer counseling others have received.

An LGBTQ-friendly therapist can help couples learn tools and techniques for deeper emotional connections. They can untangle communication breakdowns, determine negative behaviors contributing to the problem, and help partners comfortably and genuinely share their thoughts and emotions.

For example, a new couple may struggle with intimacy. One partner feels neglected and guilty for having sexual needs but doesnโ€™t know how to communicate them to their asexual partner. Through gay couples therapy, they can develop a deeper understanding of each other and effectively communicate what activities they can do together.

Significant life changes can leave us struggling and unsure of how to cope. A professional outside perspective can shift the lens towards a healing path forward.

For example, a gay couple can suffer from an affair. One partner doesnโ€™t know how to trust again, while the other defines infidelity differently. As far as the other partner is concerned, talking to other people on dating apps, even without meeting them, isnโ€™t a breach of commitment. As long as the partner who has hurt makes an effort to reassure their significant other, and as long as the hurt partner is willing to trust again, marriage counseling can help them meet halfway effectively.

Reclaim Joy and Intimacy in Your Relationship

Gay couples therapy can help queer people rebuild joy and passion in their relationship. By rediscovering shared goals and values, they can move forward with confidence as a team.

For example, a partner may not want to come out to their family due to very critical parents. This can strain the coupleโ€™s relationship as the other partner feels like a source of shame. A therapist can help them find ways to live a more authentic life and be at peace whether or not their parents would support them.