Before we get down to the details, we want to congratulate you on taking this incredible step forward and considering couples counseling for you and your partner. This is a genuine sign of a desire to grow in your connection and strengthen your relationship. We are well aware of the stigma that surrounds couples therapy, and while there may be different reasons you are choosing to begin this journey, there is only one destination: a happier, healthier relationship.
No matter what has brought you to our counseling center, our therapists here at the Spokane Counseling Hub are here to meet you where you are. There are no prerequisites for you and your partner to book an appointment with us- besides a couple of onboarding documents. The point is, whether you’ve been married for 25 years or have yet to pop the question, we are here to listen.
We also understand that just like with any new development in life, you might have a couple of questions… maybe even a couple dozen. Before you and your partner embark on this journey, we wanted to provide some clarity on what you can expect from this experience.
Debunking the Myths: What Couple’s Therapy Is Not
We hate to admit it, but we’ve heard the rumors. While it is natural if you are feeling anxious about your first go at therapy, we want to be clear about the common misconceptions you might face when seeking help and hope to ease at least some of your and your partner’s worries. Here are just a few things that have come to our attention that we want to shed some light on:
- Therapists Play Favorites
- Let’s get one thing straight- your therapist isn’t playing for any team at all! While they are rooting for both you and your partner, they are your unbiased third party. The point of couples therapy is that it involves two people- and your therapist’s job is to empathize with both individuals, regardless of the situation.
- We will also introduce to you the idea of one-on-one sessions that your therapist might recommend. This is an opportunity for your therapist to really get to know each individual so that no one person feels unheard or undersupported.
- Therapists Stir the Pot
- Let’s say you have just a couple of things you and your partner would like to work on and improve. Let’s say you’re also aware of the few things you’ve swept under the rug and really don’t want to discuss in therapy. Many people’s concerns align with the idea that therapists are also trying to unearth sensitive topics that you’d rather not address.
- The thing is, if a topic is still sensitive, it is likely still weighing on you. These types of thoughts can be buried so deep that they resurface as resentment or anxiety. Your therapist always wants you to feel comfortable in their space, but it is natural if some topics make you uncomfortable. That’s called growing pains. Therapy is a safe space to get through these moments in a way that promotes understanding and empathy.
What Couples Counseling is All About!
Hopefully, we’ve eased at least a little of your apprehension now. We want you to feel as prepared as possible for what might be your first go-around with therapy. We will now introduce you to what you can expect from couples counseling at the Spokane Counseling Hub.
If we’re going to make it official and tie the knot as your therapist support system, the first exhilarating thing you can expect is… paperwork! Ok, so maybe it’s not the most exciting news, but essentially all we’ll need is for you to sign off on some consent forms, a confidentiality agreement, and a brief discussion on our cancellation policies.
After we get the logistics out of the way, your therapist will have some questions for you. Remember, this is likely your first time meeting, so it might feel different opening up to someone who still feels a bit like a stranger. Your therapist’s job is to make you and your partner as comfortable as possible, and they will put the time and energy into making that a reality.
When it comes to your first session, you don’t need to be concerned about facing complex questions and diving in too deep into the challenges the two of you face. Your therapist will simply want to take a walk down memory lane and hone in on the history of your relationship.
These initial inquiries from your therapist are not at all intended to be trick questions! Here are a few that you’ll likely respond to in your first session:
- When and how did the two of you meet?
- What sparked the initial attraction between the two of you?
- How long have you been together since?
After these simple questions, your therapist will also want to know when you initially started facing challenges and why you chose to seek therapy now. This will allow your psychotherapist to get to know the two of you and better understand your relationship dynamic, as well as narrow down the areas where the two of you could use extra guidance.
Conflict Patterns: The Name of the Game
As you and your partner open up more and more to your psychotherapist and attend more sessions, your counselor will begin to analyze your conflict patterns. When it comes to couples counseling, if the code is cracked on the challenges you and your partner face and how you cope with them, that is when you can really plan to see change for the better.
The conflict patterns in your relationship likely become a cycle in your everyday life. When you and your partner begin to consider your arguments, how they escalate, and how they de-escalate, you will likely recognize that there is a lot of room for growth. While the conflict patterns in your relationship are an important code to crack, it is equally as crucial for you to understand your role in perpetuating them. Individual self-reflection plays a huge role in the broader journey of couples counseling.
One-on-One Sessions: Taking Time To Understand Each Individual
Frequently, a therapist will prefer to hold one session with each individual in a couple. This information shared in the one-on-one sessions is not intended to be secret or to build a wall between what you and your partner share with one another. Even though it involves speaking to one person at a time, the session’s goal is to get to know each partner more so the therapist can understand the relationship better. Your counselor always has the best interest of your couple’s connection in mind, and every step you take in the couples counseling journey aims to build a healthier, stronger relationship.
Personal Goals: Crafting Your Relationship Evaluation and Treatment Plan
The most important part of learning how to improve and grow in your connection is accepting that no one person can be blamed for the struggles in your relationship. It takes two to tango! While there may be specific events that have led you to seek couples counseling, the process will not be beneficial if both partners do not see where they have room to grow.
Your therapist will be assessing your relationship throughout every session that is held. They will evaluate strengths, weaknesses, attachment styles, and conflict cycles and keep these in mind as they curate a treatment plan for your couple.
Each individual will be able to work with the therapist to set personal goals for the type of partner they want to be. These goals can seem simple, including improving communication, increasing self-worth, and better regulating emotional reactions, but the effect they will have on your relationship will make an incredible difference in the quality of your connection.
Specialized Couples Counseling in Spokane, WA
Couples Counseling may seem out of your comfort zone at first, but as soon as you give it a chance, you’ll find it is the most comfortable place to open up and grow in your connection. The Spokane Counseling Hub is here to guide you every step of your couple’s journey. Ready to book?! Click here to schedule an appointment with a therapist that is fit for you.